He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
