I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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