But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
