So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
