Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
