I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
