his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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