It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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