they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
