I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
