How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
