You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize