she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
