I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
