Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
