Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
