How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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