two words: eviction party
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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