he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
