i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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