I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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