I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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