My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
