So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
