Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
tell me about the eggs
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