chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
