You really coming over, don't trick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wear drunk well.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
