i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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