She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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