scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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