Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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