She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
