He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
