I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
