Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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