Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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