bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
