I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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