Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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