good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
