...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
