Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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