How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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