I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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