i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
