i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize