I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
