I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
