she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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