I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
