Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
