You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
