It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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