I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
