Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
