That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize