Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
