My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
