Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
