Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
